My Baby's Four!

Today my baby, my only daughter turned four years old. I can't believe how fast time has flown and how much we, as a family, have gone through in these past four years. Right after Kaylie was born was when Preston started kindergarten and that was the beginning of us being a home school family. When she was a couple months old was when I began all the issues with my post partum thyroiditis.

When she was a 1 1/2 years Jeff resigned from our last church. We then moved a total of three times in 7 months. One of those moves was to Wichita where we lived for 6 months. When we lived in Wichita we got to live close to her Aunt Tammy and then the kids adopted a new aunt, their "aunt" Kathy.

We then moved to Colorado and a new page was turned in our lives. We made many new friends, we serve in a great church, and we just recently moved again into our own home!

What can I say about Kaylie....she is precious, she is definitely a "princess" in our family, even though she is a very tough princess. She loves her brothers and she loves her friends. Kaylie is pretty aggressive in a lot of areas. That has made my job a little difficult in the fact that if she's mad she will hurt whoever made her mad. The positive side to her personality is she is a lot less likely to be "victimized" in life. She is like her mommy in many ways. She does not like to be told what to do! When dealing with her she needs to be given a choice, for example, you can say your sorry now, or you can go to your bed and say your sorry later. Many times she will choose to go to her bed and when she decides she is ready to say she is sorry she will do it very willingly and lovingly. If she is just told to say she is sorry, she refuses and then there is a big scene made because of her disobedience and if a "sorry" comes out it is not done nicely.

Our family is very blessed to have a Kaylie as a part of it. I feel bad that she doesn't get to have a little baby brother or sister to help take care of. I feel bad that she doesn't get the security and joy of sharing a room with a sister (which I'm sure she'll appreciate when she is older!) What she does have is three older brothers to dote on her and help keep her safe. She has three great playmates, who sometimes teach her bad habits. She gets one on one "girl" time with her mommy, and she has a daddy that loves her very much.

For her birthday we celebrated a day early because her Aunt Theresa, Uncle Matt, and her cousins Brooke and Megan were in town to celebrate with. We got to go to Chuck E. Cheese. We didn't really do a theme but if there was a theme it was kind of a hawaiian. I decorated the cupcakes to look like flowers, she got a special lei and then she got to put lei's on the other kids. I think all the kids had a blast and the guys had just as much fun if not more! Here are some pictures from her day.

To hurt means you loved.

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

It's been several days since I've blogged so I feel I should write about something. This morning, the boys and I went birthday shopping for Kaylie. It could have been a fun time but it seems they easily forget why we are shopping. It was quickly forgotten that it was about Kaylie and it became, "I want this... I need that..." As a mom, that can zap the fun out of anything.

After the boys and I got home, I decided that Kaylie and I needed some girl time. So we went and got an ice cream cone. It is amazing how peaceful it is when there is only one kid! When we got home Kaylie was quick to ask if we could make tonight girls night too! :)


Part of my struggle with what to blog about is I am going through a gamut of emotions. I guess part of my life, which is what this blog is about, has the good, the bad and the ugly. We have just gone through a "Judas" moment. If you are in ministry you definitely know what a "Judas" moment is. We all have experienced them at some point in our lives. When someone turns on you, and it sometimes feels like a stab in the back. Someone you trusted and then you realized you shouldn't have. Betrayal.

The emotions you go through are any where from anger to hurt. But we always have to go back to that God is in control and He will work all things for the good of those who love Him. We have to release it and forgive (although can we kick them in the shins first?! ;o) We can't let bitterness enter into our lives, that will only make us and those closest to us miserable. So, "in the sight of Christ" (2 Cor. 2:10) I forgive our "Judas".

A Question

Do you ever ask, "What are you doing God?"?

Colorado Springs

Yesterday we were on the rode a little after 7 am on our way down to Colorado Springs. My sister Theresa and her family, who live in the Oklahoma City area, were there for "work". With them that close we had to go spend some time with them. We both are on a limited budget so we were looking for free or cheap. There's not much out there anymore in either of those categories! We found some castle that we were both interested in and fairly cheap, but they were closed on Mondays :(

So it was off to Garden of the Gods, which I have to say, I was not that thrilled about going there because rocks don't thrill me like they do some (like Jeff). I also have to say, it was more interesting then I thought it would be. They actually had a "rescue team" up there practicing, I would have enjoyed just sitting and watching them but my kids wouldn't have stayed entertained with that. We went on a tour, and I think having some history helped with making it more interesting. Other then the few contradictory comments with the whole evolution / creation thing, it was good. I did find this interesting and had never heard this one before, "We are on our third set of Rockies." FYI, I don't believe it, but still interesting to hear!

We then went to Focus on the Family. Theresa and I wanted to get a tour of the administration building, so Jeff was willing to watch the 6 kids at Whit's End while we went on the tour. When we got there they informed us that they were going to be doing a live taping if we wanted to sit and watch. We both decided to do that instead. We didn't get to see James Dobson but we got to put a face to the voice of Bill Meyers. I don't get to listen to their program on the radio like I used to, but when we lived in Hugoton I listened to it almost daily. The topic was on bullying, and I found it very interesting. They say it will air in 2 - 3 months.

After our day of "sight-seeing", we went to Sunnyside Christian Church and got to see the dinosaur fossils. We've seen them before, but it has been a while, and the boys loved it! Jeff wanted to stay and listen to Dr. Sharp share, so we did. We got home a little before 10 pm, very exhausted but it was a good day.

Sad News

We just heard that someone from our church died of a heart attack in the night/early morning. Mike Fitzgerald was very dedicated to New Hope. Every Sunday morning he was there to greet those who came in the door. When we bought our house he was a HUGE help to Jeff and I. He was here for over a week helping us paint and some days he put in over 10 hours, all out of the goodness of his heart. He said all we had to do was feed him lunch. In that week to two weeks we got to know Mike and had many conversations with him. He will be missed and our prayers go to his family.

She is 'Blessed'!

Today is my mom's birthday! That means I get to blog about her today!

What can I say, she's the best mom ever! She was the mother of three girls, and I must say very lovely girls. She was the one who taught us about Christ, not only in her words but in her life. She was our support, our comfort, a prayer warrior, a friend, and a rock. There are so many things I could say about her but I am really going to try to limit myself.

My rock...when I was a child (and sometimes even now) I was very fearful. I had fears about dying to someone breaking in the house. Our home creaked and settled really bad at night and to me it sounded like someone walking. Therefore I would lay in bed paralyzed with fear. I would scream "Mooooom!" and then act like I was sleeping so the 'intruder' wouldn't know who screamed. I would do that until my mom came from the other side of the house to comfort me and to check things out to make sure no one was in the house. I spent many nights in her room either on the floor by her bed or in bed with her. As long as I was touching her or holding her hand, I felt safe. Now that I'm a mom and dealing with some of the same issues with one of my children, I have called her and asked her how she did it, there's just one more level of respect for her.

My comfort...when I was sick there was NO ONE like mom. No one could hold me and take care of me like she did. The first time I really missed home was right after I got married and I got sick, I wanted my mom and Jeff wasn't quite the sympathizer that I was use to. When I was scared, she would hold me. I could curl up next to her on the couch and I would feel better.

My prayer warrior...I know she has prayed for us our whole lives. I have no doubt that her prayers have kept me out of trouble and harms way. I have talked about my post-partum thyroid issues in a previous blog. During that time my mom stood in that gap for me like no one else. When my body was shaking and I could feel a panic attack coming on, I would call her, no matter the time, and there were several times it was 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning, and she would speak truth (Scripture) to me and she would pray with me. During that time, I literally could not focus on the truth. I could read my Bible and quote Scripture but immediately behind it came the lies. I couldn't focus on my prayers. I know that it was those who stood in the gap for me with their prayers that got me through that time. Here is a poem, that I'm not sure who the author is, but we bought this framed for her one year. When I read it, it is my mom.

THE WARRIOR

This morning my thoughts traveled along

To a place in my life where days have long since gone

Beholding an image of what I used to be

As visions were stirred and God spoke to me

He showed me a Warrior a soldier in place

Positioned by Heaven,yet I saw not the face

I watched as the Warrior fought enemies

That came from the darkness with destruction for me

I saw as the Warrior would dry away tears

As all of Heaven's Angels hovered so near

I saw many wounds on the Warriors face

Yet weapons of warfare were firmly in place

I felt my heart weeping my eyes held so much

As God let me feel the Warrior's prayer touched

I thought " how familiar" the words that were prayed

The prayers were like lightening that never would fade

I said to God "please the Warrior's name"

He gave no reply, He chose to refrain

I asked,Lord, who is broken that they need such prayer?"

He showed me an image of myself standing there

Bound by confusion, lost and alone

I felt prayers of the Warrior carry me home

I asked "Please show me Lord. this Warrior so true"

I watched and I wept, for Mother.....the Warrior-was you!

Happy Birthday Mom! We've had many good times together and many great laughs, may we have many more!

I love you and I am arising and calling you "blessed"!

(Sorry about the spacing, I can't get it figured out.)

A Good Reminder

Right now I have a song going through my head, four lines, over and over.

"You're gonna miss this,

you're gonna want this back.

You're gonna wish these days,

hadn't gone by so fast..."

I normally listen to Christian music, either WayFM or K-Love. On occasion I get in the mood to listen to "easy listening" radio or country. One day as I was listening to some country I heard this song and it really made me think. I'm sure it was at a time that I was frustrated with my kids, and probably even questioning whether to continue home-schooling or not, then here comes this song. It really hit me and gave me a good reminder to appreciate life right where I am at. I'm not always going to have these little ones around.



So the other night when we had two kids with us in bed, and I woke up hot and unable to move, here comes this song. I was up from 4:00am to 5:30 with this song going through my head. Of course I then thanked God for my kids and prayed over them.



May you remember to always appreciate where you are in life and see the blessings in all things.



To hear this song in it's entirety click on the link below.



http://www.cmt.com/videos/trace-adkins/217378/youre-gonna-miss-this.jhtml

A Special Day!

Yesterday was an extra special day for our family. Tanner, our second son, was baptized! He has talked about being baptized ever since Preston was back in January, but we would tell him to wait until he got a little older. He would bring it up every now and then but when he started going through his fear of death, he really started talking about it. He was really afraid he was going to go to hell. We would explain that if he's asked Jesus into his 'heart', that he wouldn't go to hell, and he had informed us that he had done it twice.

We then decided to take him through a study, that Jeff likes to take anybody through before they are baptized. He thinks that the study will help them to more fully understand, what baptism means, and what it means in their life as a believer. Jeff and I both felt comfortable with his decision to be baptized, and that it wasn't just because "it would be fun" or "other kids were doing it".

I believe since Tanner has made this decision to surrender at such a young age (7 1/2), and Preston at 9, that they are going to have a covering over them and that there will be many blessings in their life that their Father in heaven

will bestow on them. They are now in the hands of the Father, being molded into what He has called them to be. They are now instruments, no

matter how young, for the Holy Spirit to work in and to work through.

To celebrate Tanner's "special" day, he got to pick where he wanted to eat. He picked On the Border. We had some great friends who celebrated with us, and they even happened to celebrate with us when Preston was baptized. Tanner was brought out a "birthday" surprise and was sung Happy Birthday to by the On the Border waiters/waitresses. It was a great day!

(The first three pictures are of Tanner's baptism, the fourth picture is of Preston's baptism Jan. 20 '08, the last picture is the kids with our friends Kevin and Marty)

Then and Now

I realize I've already posted today, but I was playing around with my camera and I wanted to share my precious children with you. The first picture was taken May 2006 and the second one was taken today July 12, 2008.

More on our trip to Kansas

This blog should round up our trip to Kansas. I've told you about our time with Jeff's family, and about the visit to GracePoint.


After church that Sunday, we met and ate lunch with some great friends, Jason and Jennifer, from college. It was just a fast lunch, but it was great talking to them and it's amazing how much fun the kids can have in a booth at Applebees. We try to see each other at least once a year and we haven't seen them since we've moved to Colorado. They were going to come out in December, but because of bad weather they were unable to come.

We then headed to my parents house where we were going to spend a couple of days. On the way there we passed Matt, Theresa, and girls, so we pulled over gave quick hugs and did a Chinese fire drill! My younger sister, Tammy and her roommate Kathy were waiting for us, and they even took Monday off so they could spend some time with us.

My kids love their Aunt Tammy and their "Aunt Kaffy", but I do have to say they ask about their dogs more and they do show a lot of excitement about seeing the dogs!

Sunday evening we went to the nearest town with some form of entertainment, Ellsworth, and we went bowling, and best of all, ate Gambino's! In my opinion, Gambino's has the BEST pizza ever! That is one thing that Kansas has that Colorado doesn't.

On Monday, Jeff was helping take down a clothes line and the wire came around and pierced him in the knee. He bandaged it up, and as the day went on the pain got worse. I then got to thinking that he needed a tetanus shot because it had been over 10 years since his last one. So off to Hoisington we went where the closest good ER is.

It seems like we have to visit the ER at lot when we are out of town. Now we have never lived in this area of Kansas, but 3 out of 6 of us have been to the ER in Hoisington. Let me say, that Jeff does not have a high tolerance of pain, and he was looking pretty pail when the needle came out!

On Tuesday morning, before we headed back on the road, my kids once again got to light smoke bombs and throw some snappers that grandma got for them. It was a short time with my family, but we had fun.

GracePoint

After our time with Jeff's family, we headed to Wichita to visit GracePoint. GracePoint is the church we got involved with while we were in Wichita, between ministries. It holds a very special place in our hearts. Now we only went to GP for 5 months but that 5 mos. God used in a big way.

A little history... we came out of a very hard ministry, where we were torn down in a big way. Jeff resigned in November of 2005 from a small town, traditional church. The basic gist of things was, where he wanted to go and where the elders wanted to go, were two different places. God had instilled, in Jeff, a vision of how He wanted us to "do church". Jeff thought that we would find a new church within a month. Now we had several churches call us and wanted us to come but we knew that God's given vision would not be fulfilled in those churches/towns.

So Jeff started up his carpentry business once again. From January until May he did carpentry in this small town. I was fine with staying in this town while we had our own home but once we sold our home, in April, I was ready to move back "home" to Wichita. Jeff kept dragging his feet because of his carpentry. In May, we were going to fly out to Bakersfield CA, and when an elders wife found out, she made a "snide" comment to Jeff about his ability to pastor a church that size. After that Jeff was also ready to get completely away from that town. So when God made it clear to us that Bakersfield was not the place, we decided to move to Wichita. We were moved less then two weeks from the time of that decision.

Once we were in Wichita we tried some different churches, some of them mega churches, trying to find the kind of church who was doing ministry like Jeff envisioned. We found none. In the meantime we had gone to Oklahoma City for a wedding, so we decided to visit a church we had heard about from several different people, LifeChurch.tv. This was the first time that Jeff saw an actual church doing what God called him to do. This visit to LifeChurch was a very monumental time for Jeff and I. The message was on Bitterness, and at the end they were talking about forgiveness. At that point and time Jeff and I both laid our bitterness and unforgiveness down at God's feet. We forgave the elders, and all they had done to us. That is where the healing began.

Then one day Jeff was meeting with our financial advisor and he was talking to him about what kind of church we were looking for and wanted to do, and his assistant overheard and said, "Hey, I go to this church..." We visited her church, GracePoint, and LOVED it! (You can't say that wasn't a God thing.) We knew this is where we were going to go during this "off" time in our lives. This church became my home church. This was the first time in our whole married life that we actually got to go to church as a family! I had always compared myself to a "single" mom on Sunday mornings. It was totally me who had to get all the kids around, and get them to church and in their classes. At potlucks, it was me trying to get food for five and keeping an eye on the kids by myself. In twelve years of marriage and four kids later, Sunday morning worship was a family thing.

There were so many lessons and ways God worked in us during this time. A big one was going through 40 Days of Purpose as a church. The ultimate picture shown to me is, this was the time that God instilled in me, the same vision He gave Jeff. We were now on the same team, the same path.

A little over a year after Jeff resigned, we were hired on by New Hope. A church, when looking on paper, was sunk, especially financially. It could have been a scary situation to step into, and if God wasn't behind it, it definitely would have been scary because there were too many areas to fail in. Only by God's leading would anyone step up to lead a church in the situation New Hope was in. All He needed was a willing body, to be used by Him, so He could do what He wanted to do.

God has definitely shown us His power, and the miracle doer He is. We have seen miracle after miracle since we've been at New Hope. From our finances turning around, to the decisions made weekly, to our attendance more then doubling. And all of this done with Jeff being the only paid pastor. Church statistics say that if you don't hire a second pastor, you will never go over 150. We are now averaging over 300, and on Easter of last year we had over 500. I'm not sharing this to "brag or boast" but to show you how AWESOME our God is! Only God!

July 4th

Here are some pictures from our 4th of July with Jeff's family. We enjoyed a parade and then we went to my sister-in-laws house to spend the day.

We are home!

We have made it home! We had two long days of travel, on the way to Kansas and the way home. Then all the days between seemed to be pretty busy, so of course we came home more tired then when we left.

I'm planning on catching up / blogging about things that happened while we were gone, and adding pictures to the blogs I've already posted. It may take a little while, because now we have to catch up on all the work we missed while we were gone.

I am sooo glad we are back in Colorado. On a previous blog I mentioned not missing mosquitoes, well we can add chiggers right to that list! I hate chiggers and my whole family has some chigger bites! Those things are worse then mosquito bites, just in case you've never had them. Chiggers are found in the grass, so I know not to sit in the grass. I didn't realize just walking through grass will allow them to crawl up your legs to bite. Now I have the guilt of not spraying bug spray on my kids while we were at the wedding. I guess one more lesson learned with life's experiences.

A New Brother-in-Law

Today, I have a new brother-in-law. It was a very interesting wedding, but it was a nice day in Kansas, for an outdoor wedding. It was Jeff's younger sister Michelle, who got married. It was a very simple, non-traditional, small wedding.

Once again my kids had a blast playing with their cousins. They even got to drink some sparkling grape juice for the toast!

They also got to chase and catch parachutes, because we forgot to shoot them yesterday. I had to add this picture of my youngest niece. She was just so darn cute!

I am really tired so I'm not going to type a whole lot, just thought I would add that before I went to sleep.

Once again I will add pictures later.

I am very excited that we get to visit GracePoint tomorrow!

We're in Kansas

We have made it to Kansas and have made it through day 1. Yesterday we had an 11 hour day on the road. Overall, things went really well with four kids in the back. Movies can be a GREAT thing on a trip! We stopped at a park for lunch so they could run off some energy, then for supper we ate at a Burger King with a play land, once again to run off some energy. Those two stops were definitely worth the extra hour they cost us.

One thing I definitely DON'T miss about Kansas is....MOSQUITOES! Colorado has some mosquitoes but not near the number Kansas has, nor the size Kansas has. Poor Kaylie has at least a dozen bites from being outside for half an hour last night and some this morning. She has a bad local reaction to mosquito bites, 90% of the time she has major swelling where she is bit. Her leg almost looks like she has a second knee because her bite swelled up so big, and it's like a red, hard knot. She also got a bite on her temple so now her eye is swelling. Poor thing. :(

Today was mainly a day to relax and adjust to the time change and catch up on rest from our traveling. My kids loved seeing their cousins and playing with them this morning. For lunch, with Grandma and cousins, we got to eat at Spangles, which we don't have in Colorado and it's Jeff's favorite. With all the kids we were actually asked if we had a baseball team. We had a great dinner with Jeff's older sister and brother-in-law. We had a quick catch up with our ex-brother-in-law, and a good chat with our future brother-in-law.

Tomorrow is going to be a big day. Not only are we going to go to a parade, light fireworks and celebrate the 4th, we are also going to help Jeff's younger sister and future bro-in-law get their home ready and get things ready for their wedding on Saturday. As long as we all (mainly me) "go with the flow", it ought to be a great day.

I will add pictures to this blog later.

It's been several days since I've blogged. That is because I have had some company and we've been a little busy. Jeff's mom was here visiting for a few days. While she was here

we made donuts,

we went to a church BBQ,

we went up to Look-out Mountain.

This was the first time that Cecelia got to see our new home. The visit went really well, and I think we all had a good time.

When we went to go pick Cecelia up from DIA on Friday night, we thought we would pay the money to park, because it would be nice for her to see some friendly faces when she hit the crowds. Not only that, we thought it would be great for the kids to see Grandma coming out of the secure area and they could scream and run and give her hugs.

We waited and watched, waited and watched, I asked Jeff if this is where she would come out, and that was the only place we could see. So we continued to wait and watch.

Finally I told him to call his mom and find out where she was in the whole process of getting off of the plane, getting the tram, etc. She informed us that she had already gotten her luggage and was waiting for us.

Oh well...a good lesson in patience and a lesson in asking where something is for the next time.

That's all I can add for now. I will come back and add some pictures later. We are off to Kansas for Jeff's younger sister's wedding.