16 Years

Today it has been 16 years since saying "I Do".

The more time passes the more I am appreciating Jeff and the man he is.
I LOVE that he is so in love with Christ that he desires to be in the center of His will.
I LOVE that he takes extra steps to protect our marriage.
I LOVE that he says I'm beautiful, no matter what I look like at the time.
I LOVE that he loves our babies.

I am seeing more and more marriages breaking up, friends, acquaintances, let alone all those I don't know.
Because someone is wanting the "grass that is greener" on the other side.
And the truly sad thing...these are people who carrying the name Christ.
A pastor.
A youth pastor's wife.
A Sunday school teacher.
People who sit in church on Sunday mornings.

Just thinking about it, gets me down.
I realize that "It can happen to anyone."
What is keeping my marriage anymore protected then these other marriages.

I have to fall back on this...
As long as Jeff and I keep Christ the center of our lives, we will be fine.
As long as we are stilling willing to say, "Whatever it takes God, I'll do it.", we will be fine.

I am so thankful that I have a husband who truly has a head over him, which is Christ.
That he tries his hardest to love me as Christ loves the church.
Yea, he's not perfect and neither am I... so that can still lead into some pretty intense "discussions".
But we love each other.
The years will only get better!



This past Wednesday Jeff had his wisdom teeth extracted.

So he is on pain meds, not feeling the best.

His diet consists of soft foods, ie noodles, oatmeal, yogurt, icecream, scrambled eggs, pancakes.

And his cheeks are so big it's been very hard for me to resist squeezing them.

Everytime I look at his face and see these little chipmunk cheeks, or as Jeff says a version of elephant man,
I just want to reach up and pinch them!

So there's really been no celebration today.

But I love him, oh how I love him!

"Single" Mom-ing

As I type this, it is Sunday morning, and I am home with the kids.

Landon had a stomach bug Friday (the throwing-up kind), and he is doing better but he complained his stomach was hurting a little this morning, plus two other kids are complaining of their throats hurting, so I made the call that we weren't going to chance going to church.

I feel like I should be there, yet it's nice to have a "day off". I heard grumbles from the two oldest that they had to miss the last day of "Spybot", the current theme for the lessons they are learning in KidZone. It's great to know that they are loving church!

I turned on www.lifechurch.tv to hear Craig Groeschel preach... Love him!

Because Jeff is the "front man" at church, he kind of has to be there, so when a child gets sick I ALWAYS have to stay home with them and so do the healthy kids, no matter what my commitments are. On Sunday mornings, or at any church event, I am basically a "single mother". Thank God I don't have to do it 24/7. Here's a typical Sunday:

*I, alone, have to get myself and four kids, around and out the door to get to church on time (usually early). A pet peeve: hearing excuses from families on how they can't get there on time because of their kids. If I can do it every Sunday and could do it with four kids under the age of 5, by myself. Two adults can get three kids around, or one mom can get a daughter around... No sympathy from me.

*I have to wrangle, four kids and any "stuff" ie bags (used to be diaper now it's a computer), Bibles, coats, etc., through a parking lot to the doors of the church.

*Once inside, I have to try to keep the kids corralled as we "unload" a few things and "pick up" a few things.

*I then have the journey from Jeff's office, through the people (which I seemed to get stopped a lot), past the food (which I have eight hands that want to grab it and four mouths that ask, almost every Sunday, if they can have some cake/cookies/whatever is out, even though the answer is always "No"- it's like the candy by the check-out), to the kid's area.

*Since we are there early so I can do my "job", the kids have no class to go into. Now I'm trying to set things up, while trying to keep the kids from half-way, not running too wild and getting into too much trouble. (I'm not always successful... do you remember me sharing about Kaylie pulling the fire alarm one Sunday morning? I also have "bathroom" stories about the boys but I won't share that now.)

*Once the kids are safely in their classes, I then get to serve one service and I get to go sit by myself in the worship experience.

*After church, I have to pick up the children, try to do a job of a KidZone leader, try to keep my kids close where I can see them. They usually run in four different directions as I'm trying to juggle everyone else for their various needs.

*We then hang around, what seems like FOREVER, waiting for Jeff to finish talking to a line of people, so we can go and eat lunch as a family. Lunch is usually around 1:30, it can be as late as 2:00.

That is my typical Sunday morning.

I am VERY thankful where we are at a church that hardly does potlucks. We usually do one around Thanksgiving and that is it. I thoroughly DO NOT LIKE (very close to hate) potlucks!

Why?

I think most of it has to do with the "single mom" thing again. At the time I was having to do potlucks more often, I had very young kids. I had a baby, which someone would usually hold for me, but I then had three young boys. Have you every tried to go through a food line, trying to carry 4-5 plates, trying to find out what they want to eat, and then you are also suppose to carry 4-5 drinks to the table? At the same time, they are wanting to go run away and play with their friends. It is near impossible!

Jeff may have tried to come and help but there was always someone to whisk him away to talk. I can honestly say 99.9% of the time his food was cold. He never got to eat warm food, and he wasn't there to sit and help feed four kids.

Apparently my experiences have "scarred" me, because just the thought of a potluck stirs that stomach churning, dreaded feeling.

I probably just shared one of the biggest downfalls of being a pastor's wife, but I don't want to leave you with the "Praise God, I wasn't called to do that!" type of feeling. Though there are negatives, just as with any job, there are many blessings. The biggest one:

Seeing, firsthand, the work of God.

I get to hear and see how He touches individual lives:
How He heals broken relationships...
How He heals diseases...
How He provides when there was nothing...
How He draws people to Him...
How He transforms sinners to saints...
How He uses me with all my weaknesses...
I get to see and experience His faithfulness!

A Love Note (Email)

15 Things I Love About You Julie!

1. You have stuck with me & been faithful to me through thick & thin - you really meant "until death do us part," when you said it 15 years ago!

2. You have encouraged & lifted me up many times when other people tore me down.

3. You have, through your example, spurred me on many times to go deeper in my walk with Jesus & read the Bible more.

4. You have forgiven me for a lifetime of stupid things I've done & continue to forgive me.

5. You have prayed for me consistently & believed in God's ability to work through me to accomplish the vision He gave me to do church in a different way to reach people who would typically never step foot in church.

6. You sought God until you saw, understood, & shared the vision God had shown me & then you became the perfect help-mate in keeping me true to that vision & God's calling, to not be side-tracked.

7. You are an amazing mother & work very hard at protecting our kids, & pointing & leading them down paths of righteousness, & home-schooling them to help instill God’s truths into their lives.

8. You’ve taught me to give to others & be less stingy.

9. You’ve taught me to seek God's approval & direction, not man's.

10. You’ve kept me from making a number of stupid decisions by sharing your wisdom & discernment & being a sounding board for me.

11. You’ve helped me learn how to be a better husband & dad & haven’t allowed me to be a total failure at it.

12. You put "fun" into my life & have helped me to overcome my "work-a-holic" tendencies & to enjoy you & the kids & family & a more balanced life.

13. You really care about hurting people & alone underdogs & you love to encourage them.

14. You have been a tremendous life partner in just sharing God's life for us together & I'd never want to go through life without you.

15. You are the best back-scratcher in the world!

Thank You! I love you Julie! Thank you for being my life-mate until death do us part!

Our Family Talent Show

October 31st was "Our Family Talent Show". Last year we had a semi-formal event where the kids shared a talent and something they've learned in school. You can see pictures and read about it here. This year, we decided you could just come semi-dressed!

I didn't even know if the kids really wanted to do a show, but I was fine with just ordering some pizza and watching a movie. I had a few (mainly Tanner) who wanted to stick to tradition and share a talent.

Landon started with some dance moves.

Tanner, taking things very seriously, laid out all the different types of paper airplanes he made and flew each one for us.

Kaylie had to show us some cartwheels and other gymnastic moves.

Preston, with an attitude of "I don't want to do this, but I will because it's the only way to get candy." Showed us his Lego car that he showed the previous year.

The finale was Jeff and I performing a song that was written by me when we were newly married, and it was performed as a duet many a-nights.

As a newly married couple, there were little quirks to get use to. One was, Jeff sleeps with a blanket wrapped around his head. As he would climb in bed and get situated, it would never fail that he started pulling the covers off of me and then I would start getting a face full of his head blankie. I grew up on old musicals. Gene Kelly, Doris Day, Danny Kaye, Debbie Reynolds, Howard Keel...ahhh the good ones! Therefore, it only became natural for me to put my "feelings" in song. :o)

Sorry there was no video taken that I'm willing to post so I'll just share the words with you.

You're takin' my blanket,

You're throwin' your blanket,

In my face, in my face.

You're takin' my blanket,

You're throwin' your blanket,

In my face, in my face.

I don't like it,

so please stop it.

No I don't! No I don't.

I don't like it,

so please stop it.

No I don't! No I don't!

Jeff and the kids then had to get some wrestling in...

The kids got their treats for sharing...

We then finished the evening off with watching Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs.

A Renewing of Vows

Monday evening, our family was part of a "Renewing of the Vows" for some friends. It was a surprise to Kevin, the husband, so Marty was planning it all. She had asked Jeff and I stand up with them, and she knew it would take Jeff to get Kevin to the church.


Jeff shares a birthday with Kevin and Marty's anniversary. Last year, we surprised Jeff on his birthday with taking him out, kid free. So the "plans" were made for the four of us to go out again.


Kevin was suspicious and knew something was going on, he just didn't know the magnitude of it all.


Here comes the problem... if Jeff and I are both standing up front, who's sitting with our four kids? I decided that I would let them pick who they wanted to sit by, then I would ask that person if they were OK watching that kid(s). At first they all chose Ms. Dallas, who is one of the teachers in our KidZone. I asked, and she was fine. I gave each of my kids "the rules" 1) Stay in your seats, DO NOT get up until it's all over. 2) Be Quiet. This is like a wedding and do not talk during it.


At the last minute, Kaylie decides she'd rather go sit where all the girls are. So I take her over to a family that is a part of our lifegroup, and actually the mother had offered to have the kids sit by them. I reminded Kaylie of "the rules".


The time came where Kevin and Jeff showed up to the church so all the lights were turned out for the "big surprise". Kevin came in, some lights were turned up and he was surprised by the number of people who were there.


I was also surprised because my daughter was running up and down the aisle doing cartwheels! Then she moved to front and center to do cartwheels. Not ONLY was she doing cartwheels, but gone were the nice clothes she left the house in. No she wasn't naked, thank God! But she had some pastel purple shorts and a bright purple and pink shirt on with Simba (Lion King) on it. She had those under her nice clothes (unbeknown to me) and she had decided she was hot.


I finally got her back in her seat with my words. Kevin then made it to the front and the ceremony began. TJ, a man from our church, starts talking and doing the whole "love" thing, and then I start hearing "Kiss the bride! Kiss the bride!" Not only was I hearing it from the front (Kaylie), but I started hearing it from the back, which was Tanner. I think Ms. Dallas put a stop to him pretty quick but Kaylie seemed to keep going on and on.


I had to step forward to look around TJ to get Jeff's attention, who was standing about 3 feet from Kaylie, I had to give him "that look" that said, "Do something about her!" He then was able to get her to be quiet.


I don't know what Kaylie was thinking. Maybe that this was a circus and she was the acrobat? I DID NOT think it was funny, it was rather embarrassing, but when I was telling my sister she made me see the humor in it. So here is the story, so she can read about it in the future and remember. :o)

Forty-three Years!

Today, my parents have been married 43 years! I really wanted to scan in a picture of their wedding day, but it's still in a box, that I haven't unpacked and I don't want to take the time to search for it. I might do that a little later and add the picture later. I believe these pictures were taken in their early years of marriage.


It is a true blessing to have parents that are still married and are honoring the commitment they made to each other on their wedding day. I remember as a child, becoming aware of divorce and how many friends' parents were divorced or were divorcing. I must have shared my concern with my mom, because I can remember to this day, her promising that her and dad would never get divorced. I held onto that promise all through my childhood. I never worried about it. I took my mom at her word.



There are times were they are "grouchy" with each other. There have been times I've wondered how they could live with each other. But they are an honorable example of loving each other and staying committed to the one they made vows to.

Happy Anniversary

and thank you both for loving each other

and loving us girls in your own ways.

I LOVE you!

It's pretty sad to say, but this was the last picture of us all as a family. It was taken June 2007.

Double Dating!

I had this in my drafts and forgot about it, so thought I better get it posted!

A week ago, Jeff and I got to go on a double date! We ended up going out Sunday after church. We have a wonderful family in our church who has offered to watch our kids whenever we need to go out. The kids love going to their house because they have friends to play with, there are dogs that they usually get to take on a walk and who knows what other kinds of fun they have there.



We ended up having a seven hour date! After dropping our kids off, we were picked up by our friends Kevin and Marty. Our first agenda was to eat! It was close to 2:00 and we were all hungry. We decided to have some Famous Dave's BBQ! We ended up getting a meal for 4-5 and they bring it out on something that resembles a trash can lid. We had some wonderful food and some great fellowship time. (I do need to mention that most of the talking was done by the men! Marty and I got a word in on occasion but it was difficult with Jeff and Kevin :P)



After eating, it was on our way to the movies. We went and saw Fireproof....WOW!!! It is not the best of acting, because it was done by volunteers, but you get into the story line and the acting is forgotten. It is hard to explain all the feelings that go with this movie. It will make anyone think about their own marriage or relationships they are in. It is definitely a great one for those to see who are having trouble in their marriage. It also has the salvation message in it for the unbelievers who see this movie. I can't wait for it to come out on DVD so we can add it to our library of movies.



After our movie we were all on a high. We then realized it was around supper time and we kind of forgot all about our kids needing a second meal. So we called our babysitters and they were already feeding our kids pizza and they told us not to be in any big hurry. So we then decided to go to Wal-mart to pick up a few things for Marty and then we went to Culvers for some frozen custard! Yummmm!!! This was a great ending to a great day. We had a yummy treat with some great conversation, and it had been quite some time since I had laughed so hard!!! I won't go into detail because I don't want to embarrass certain individuals but I will say that the four of us are on a totally different level of friendship now! ;o)

Sorry I didn't take my camera, I thought of it when we were at Culvers. :(



We can't wait until the next time we have the chance to double date!

Happy 14th Anniversary!

Fourteen years ago today, Jeff and I were married. Man that makes me feel old! We met at Manhattan Christian College. I was a freshman coming in and he was an RA in the dorm. My best friend Heather and I came up to school together and moved in on August 17, 1993. That was the first day we met. To keep things short, we spent a lot of time together walking and talking. We 'officially' started dating in October, after Christmas break we knew that God had chosen us for each other. In February we were engaged, Jeff then had a summer on camp team where we didn't really get to see each other the whole summer, we talked on the phone. Then on August 20, 1994 we were married right before the fall semester of school began. That is the very short story of how things began.

We have since been through so much together.

• 1994 - married and the beginning of life together, as poor college students. The week after we were married we went to White City for a "try-out" weekend. We were hired for a weekend ministry @ $125 a Sunday.
• 1995 - still adjusting to life as a married couple. Jeff likes to say that our first year of marriage was the roughest, because there were lots of adjustments to be made.
• 1996 - we both graduated from MCC, Jeff with a bachelors in Bible/Pastoral Ministry w/ a minor in Youth Ministry and me with an Associates Degree in Bible/ Educational Ministry. Jeff became bi-vocational so we could continue to minister in White City.
• 1997 - more ministry in White City. Jeff even drove bus and I used some of my time to volunteer at the library at the grade school.
• 1998 - We were pregnant! In June, Jeff's dad, Leon, was killed in a car accident. On October 29th, Preston Layne was born.
• 1999 - Adjusting to parenthood and "preparing" for Y2K ;o)
• 2000 - survived Y2K :D became pregnant with #2 and I remember being HUGE
• 2001 - On January 11, Tanner Riley was born. January 12, both of my grandmothers on their way home from coming to see us, was hit and killed on I-70 by a semi. Day 6 of Tanner's life we went to a double funeral. In July, we said goodbye to our 7 year ministry in White City and moved to Hugoton KS. We bought our first home. On September 11, the trade towers were hit.
• 2002 - I was pregnant with #3 and on September 19, Landon Cade was born.
• 2003 - My sister and family moved to Hugoton also. First time to have family near-by. Found out I was pregnant with #4 and surprised my family at Christmas.
• 2004 - On July 29, Kaylie Joy was born. Started homeschooling Preston right after Labor Day. The end of September my world was turned upside down because of my Thyroid. This was a HUGE turning point in Jeff and I's marriage.
• 2005 - Still dealing with the aftermath of my "thyroid". On November 13, Jeff resigned from Hugoton.
• 2006 - My sis and family moved to Oklahoma (one of the hardest days of my life). Jeff began doing carpentry again. In April we sold our home, in May we moved to Wichita. We then got a chance to live by my younger sister for 6 mos. Lots and lots of growing and healing. In November Jeff was called to New Hope and we moved to Thornton CO.
• 2007 - We've had the time of our lives! We've seen miracle after miracle at New Hope.
• 2008 - In May we bought our own home and we are settling in and getting ready for year 15!

We've had our ups and downs but we've gotten stronger and closer. Jeff has the biggest heart and love for me and kids and for those around him. He's a great dad and is very hands-on. I couldn't ask for a better husband. Although I do wonder sometimes what God was thinking because we are so opposite ;o) but I love him anyway! So,

Happy 14th Anniversary to the love of my life!