The Answer - Pt. 3 A Gentle Whisper

Need to catch up?
Just Waiting
Part 1
Part 2

So, now I have been attending the Bride with a much better attitude and I no longer have that burden weighing on my chest. I am recognizing that God has lead me into the wilderness so I can depend on Him and so that I can witness the mighty things He wants to do through me and for me.

Now I have given you the background you need, and I can get to what happened last week.

On Thursday, November 5th, P our KidZone Leader, let Jeff know that she was stepping down, and then emailed the team and let them know. I found out on the phone talking to Jeff and the email hadn't been received yet. My reactions were...

1) Not surprised. Jeff and I had been expecting it because we saw P withdrawing from things, and we could tell she hadn't worked through things that was needed to be done to move on with the whole leadership team. We knew that KidZone would be just fine and there would be no "gaping holes" in the KidZone leadership.

2) Anger at P. How could I say that I wasn't surprised and that I knew KidZone would be fine and yet be angry at her? TIMING. It all came down to the timing. We are starting a parent recruitment to get help in the classes, but until we can get help, there are some classrooms that have no one in them to teach or help and she would have had to step in and help. She was, for all logical purposes, leaving us in an impossible situation.

I quickly recognized and laid this at Jesus' feet, that this is an opportunity for God to do a Mighty Thing...a miracle!

Then I got the email... let's just say that it would have been better for me to have read "I quit.", then to have read the excuses/reasoning's. They were very good "worldly" excuses, not Biblical. Totally against what Jesus exemplified for us. Within a couple of hours, in the sight of Christ, I had forgiven her. It's not something I let get rooted in my soul, where bitterness could begin.

3. Anger at God. {Gasp} Are you shocked? I was angry at Him because I felt cheated. This was suppose to be temporary. Everything was "set up" for me to step off. I had "sacrificed" my time to help P get settled in her postition and she quit before I got to step off.

Through my angry tears turned desperate tears, I let God know I was mad. Why not? He knows the deepest parts of us and He'd rather us be honest then try to act all "religious" and "put together". It was in this time that the silence was broken. In the midst of all my questions and 'Why's?" I was hearing a gentle whisper. This may not be word for word, but this is very close to what I heard.

• "I knew this was going to happen, and I kept you here for this purpose."
• "I knew you could handle it." because I let God handle me. He molds me in His hands.
• "You are the stable one through all of this." because I stand on the Rock and I'm not tossed by the waves and the wind.
• Several times I heard, "I am using you." or maybe it was, "The I AM is using you."

"I am using you." That humbles me. It's hard to even write this because I'm not worthy and there's a painful knot in my throat with tears in my eyes.

It is very humbling and I'm in awe that the God who created this world, this universe, Who created EVERYTHING, is using ME.

To know that He has looked at my heart, where it seems to me there is lots of ugliness, shoot, look at the attitude I wrote about in Part 1 and you can see in that battle the flesh won. Wait a second, NO it didn't win. It was getting the upperhand for a short time, but God won! My attitude is changed. He looked at my heart and saw something...willingness, obedience, love for Him, someone after His own heart...only He knows.

To know that I was tested and that I came forth as gold.

To know that He saw this weak person that He could display His power through.

So there's my answer. He's called me here, in KidZone, for a time. I thought it was temporary, He had other plans. Only He knows how long He's going to keep me there, but I can tell you that I will stay where He's called me and when He says," I'm done with you there.", I won't stay.

The whole leadership team is getting excited to see what God is going to do. We are set up to see the Mighty Hand of God work as only He can.