An Answer - Pt. 1 The Beginning

Just last week, on Wednesday morning, I shared that I'd been praying and waiting for an answer and all I was getting was silence. Now I need to share how God moved in a pretty big way. If you haven't read Just Waiting, do that first.

This might get a little lengthy but I have to share what has built up to where I am now.

I don't remember the exact dates, but around two years ago, at our church, Jeff (who's the pastor) had a "retired" children's ministry lady, whom I don't want to use names so I will just refer to her as T, come and try to help get our children's ministry on track. Basically she was going to train and mentor the team, and then return to her home church. I believe at the time she started, there was a team of four and pretty quick two of them stepped down. That then left her and two other leaders. I don't remember exact details, I just remember hearing how she needed someone else to join the team.

I was teaching in the toddler class at that time, so I was part of the children's ministry, so I had first hand experience of what was going on. I can't remember if I prayed...surely I did :o)...or if I just decided on my own that I could step on TEMPORARILY. The plans from the very beginning were to step on to help T make some changes. When she left, I was stepping off.

About a year later, Jan. '09, T finally had a time when she was leaving and had a couple of ladies, P and S, whose hearts were with the children and were ready to be the leadership team. These two ladies knew from the beginning that I was "temporary" and was wanting to step down. T met with the new team a couple of times and then was gone. I could see that P and S weren't real sure of themselves, so I let P know that I would stay on until she got more established, but I couldn't do anymore then I was already doing. Through this time, I felt like God still wanted me to stay.

This past year has been an "interesting" one to say the least. It seemed like things were slowly declining over time. Through the summer, when everything was going on with my dad, I missed around 6 weeks of church. Decisions and changes were made and new people were asked to be part of the leadership team without my knowledge, so now there was more of team for P and S to work with. I was sure that this was a "set up" for me to step off. Finally after 1 1/2 years of this temporary position I was going to clear my plate of KidZone. My reasoning's were, the leaders and the whole children's area was use to me not being around, and they could get along without me. When there were meetings, I kept my mouth shut because if I wasn't going to be around I didn't need to throw in ideas that I wasn't willing to help make happen. I was also just waiting for that prompting of the Holy Spirit to let me know that it was time to say, "I'm stepping down."

At the end of summer is when I started praying and the asking if I could step off. Silence. If you do the math, I started praying the beginning of August and it is now the beginning on November, that is 3 months. Three months of anticipation of having more free time, not having this "burden", which is what this was to me. I dreaded church, because most of the time I was just there to work and I was having to "cover" for people, so I missed services. I didn't get to go and sing worship songs to my King, I didn't get to be in a group of fellow believers and be lifted up, and I felt like I was lost in this "kids wing" with no fellowship with all these new adults that were coming to New Hope, that I would hear Jeff talk excitedly about. There were weeks that I just wished that I would get sick or my kids would be sick so I would have a "legitimate" excuse to miss. But I kept praying... waiting... and silence.

To be continued...

Because this is getting to be so long, I'm going to do this in parts.