Going Back

I feel like I need to go back a couple of months and blog about something that happened then. As I was adding pictures to my blog on "Sibling Love", I thought some of you may have wondered about Kaylie's hair.

Kaylie has had the tendency to get into things that she shouldn't...mommy's make-up, toothpaste, markers, SCISSORS, and did I say mommy's make-up! On different occasions, I would say around a half a dozen times, she has cut her hair in various places. She usually cut her hair in a spot where it was easily hidden. Then in the beginning of April she had cut a pretty big chunk of hair off of her right side. (If you look at the picture with Tanner in "Sibling Love", you can see her one sided mullet.) When I took her to a friend who does hair, she thought it would look best to just even that side out and keep her left side long. For the most part is just looked like her hair was tucked behind her ear.

Then about a week later on April 19th, around 7 pm on a Saturday night, Preston came down with a chunk of Kaylie's hair to let me know that she was cutting her hair. Of course I was used to this, so I went to look at her. When I saw her, I would have to say I was shocked and mad! Of course I gave her some swats, then I hollered at Jeff to come in from outside. I had to tell him to look at her and that I couldn't handle it.

Let's just say that I wasn't handling this too well, I bawled and bawled. Jeff tried to comfort me and was telling me that we could fix it, and I was saying "No we CAN'T!" I truly thought we might have to shave her head. I called Jeannie, by hairdresser friend, and told her I had to come over and started bawling on the phone with her.

We got Kaylie over there and Jeannie said that this "was the worst haircut she has ever had to fix." She also thought the only way to make it look ok was to give her a pixie cut. I said, "Do whatever you have to do." At least it wasn't having to be shaved.

Now the good that came out of this...through all the tears, mine, hers, the boys (because mommy was crying and they didn't want Kaylie to be "bobbed" (bald), and even Jeff got misty eyed, my heart grew bigger and even softer, however that is possible, for a mommy, toward Kaylie. This was the first time in her little life that I truly saw her feel genuinely sorry for something she had done. She wasn't crying because she was physically hurt, or her hair looked funny, for no selfish reason. She was crying because of the "hurt" she saw her mommy in. When I finally calmed down, she calmed down. I went and looked at her little face and told her the reason mommy was crying was because she cut off her pretty hair. Of course, I started crying once again and therefore she did too.

As we, Kaylie and I, were on our way to Jeannie's, Kaylie said, "Mommy you need to apologize." I then let her know that I don't need to apologize because I didn't do anything wrong. Then when we pulled into Jeannie's drive-way, Kaylie said, "Mommy, I apologize, will you forgive me?" This was the first time ever that she took this step with out having to be told to. And I believe, when she was saying that I needed to apologize, she was trying to get out that she was apologizing.

Through the haircut, she kept looking in the mirror at me, and I could see in her eyes silently asking, "Are you going to be OK? Am I going to be OK?" I could feel by heart getting bigger, and bigger, and I would give her a reassuring smile, hoping she could see that my answer was "Yes, and even better."

I have now grown to love her hair, especially since the bald patches have filled in. I have gotten quite a few comments on how cute it is. Of course, I've gotten comments about having four boys too, but we just politely say that the youngest one is a girl. She says she will never cut her hair again, and let's pray that she doesn't!